We have our whole life to realize our big dreams.
I’m 25, and about to be 26. I’m extremely ready for every single element to be happening. For my life to be perfect. Which means, having a great job, a loving partner, a fully swollen saving account, a stamped passport, a perfect toned body, living in a dream appartement, and to start working on my doctoral degree whilst I don’t have to worry about anything else regarding my loved one, and for nothing to cause me any ache. Which is completely reasonable, right?
Who am kidding.
Thanks to our millennial environment and mostly to social media, we are the 20 something living in a world where we’re having incredible expectations, who have to be advertised before we hit the deluding age of 30. I’m constantly bombarded – and even when I’m not looking for it – with images of my friends who seemed to be on their way to the perfect life road. Smiling couples celebrating engagements, or their childbirth. Or posing with the keys to their new apartment. Is this magically happening to everyone else, but not for me?
Then, I stumbled upon an article through Darling Magazine, which point to the right syndrome. I was jealous. Jealous of not even one person, of no one. It hit me. Those elements were all part of the plan we were influenced with, but I realized, none of my friends were checking the criteria all together. We’re definitely looking for something to achieve that doesn’t exist in a whole. I’ve realized I was being jealous of various elements of their lives, and was creating the perfect life of an imaginary human being. Striving for something, envying someone we knew didn’t even exist.
Moreover, I realized, whilst looking back at what I’ve accomplished, looking at my professional situation, but even more, at my friends always around me, I realized that some would be jealous of the incredible opportunities I was handed down, and I was ready to be thankful for that.
Perfect life Puzzle
Coming to this a-ha moment, the realization of this inner jealousy, we all understand the idea every one of our friend may have find some pieces to the puzzle, but the « Perfect life » puzzle, might not be put all together yet. No one has all the pieces.
In the years following college, I’ve came across wedding news, childbirth news, and those being a blessing for everyone of them, I realized, we can’t have it all. So, right, it’s natural to feel this jealousy; due to peer pressure and social media who’s running (and ruining) our life, but it doesn’t mean we have to fulfill all the criterion at the same time, right now. « Jealousy is the fear of comparison. » Max Frisch captures it well. Pretty enviable, and I bet you’re noticing right now, no one of your friends have it all.
Social media and our work load schedule have an impact of the ideal life we’re picturing. We’re so busy to work hard to climb the ladder, we don’t give much though to the « slow down » philosophy. Too often, we’re going through the motion of life, and not giving so much attention to the little things we’re passing by. If jealousy starts to overtake over you, there’s a solution. Overlooking over simple joys and find a practice that can bring you back into the « moment ». We have our whole life to realize our big dreams.
Dwelling in the simple joys would only bring something more important to your inner self, such as taking some me time, enjoying a moment with your friends, or a nice walk. Although I’m a quite of a defender of striving for the future, and be prepared to take anything on, it’s also important to take into consideration, we’re a composite person, who’s going to go through so many stages in life.
Comparing yourself to an imaginary people created on the ideal persona focusing on achieving her social Instagram feed at the perfection that couldn’t possibly exist will only tear your down.
You’ll never find peace if you’re constantly comparing yourself to people you used to know, and who seems to have strive through every step in life. As well, you might even consider, they’re just being jealous of who you are and of what you achieved as far. See all the blessings you’ve been blessed with first.
Comparison is a thief
Everyone has their own path in the world – so what might be good for someone, might not be good for you. It depends of your personality, of what you’re looking for to accomplish. All the circumstances we’ve been surrounded with have an impact on our path. Stop comparing, since we have, each of us, our own purpose and most important, stop thinking you’re not good enough. If you want to live a happier life, and stop being jealous of someone imaginary, take a moment to realize how far you’ve come right now.
Your ideal situation may not be happening yet, but life isn’t a race. We might not be able to connect the dots right now, but focusing on what we need and taking a step after another is everything we need. Yes, we’re still kids, but these days, we’re expected to achieve it all and be as good as everyone else.
Did you ever find jealous of imaginary people who seems to achieve it all? What would be your solution?